A New Beginning

3 weeks of holiday went by in a blink of an eye.. I feel nervous about starting the next semester tomorrow.. having to think of where to get my school books.. not having any friends in my classes.. Loneliness constantly creeps upon me whether or not i am surrounded by friends.

Despite having made a number of friends here.. It doesnt seem to solve my issues of loneliness.. perhaps we're juz from different worlds.. we might be friends but we're from different worlds! Nevertheless.. I'm determined to work hard and get good grades again as i set Malaysia as motivation for my semester! YESSHH i honestly cant wait to go back to Malaysia during summer.. my friends! people who truly loves me and knows me! and not to mention the good food and more affordable prices.. yes.. the past week i limited myself to 1 meal per day to save money.. soo torturing haha!

Its been awhile now since i last got a chance to chat with Fern.. Hope she's fine! Just wanted to thank Zheng yang for always being the guy who is there for me! <3! He's the best! and to all the others who are on holidays still! enjoy it.. those who are with their families.. Treasure them!

Since its a new year.. I just wanted to take this time to thank all those people who had impacted my life in a way i could never be more grateful (Fern, Zheng yang, Chok Dong, Bu yeow, Wen xian, Mei Yee) and many others.. Thanks for being so good to me! I love you guys and wish the best for you guys! I also wana take the time to apologize if i've ever offended or hurt any of you! Especially Fern.. I'm sorry!

So.. what kind of a person are you? a person who makes decisions based on your past or on the possibilities that awaits you?

<3 With Love
Travis Tai

The Pain of Losing You

"So wont you come back to me, I need you by myside, so dont you leave me, for a heartthrob guy.. tonight"

Dedicated to the Love of my life,

5years together.. the only regret I've got is having to let you go.. There will be no greater pain in my life than losing you.. even catching a grenade or taking a bullet through my brains wouldnt hurt as much as what I'm going through..

Dear Loo Shweh Fern.. I secretly wish that you would be reminded of the good times we had together.. the struggles we've been through together.. remember the times we were once strong when I forgive you despite having lied to me for 2 years.. remember how i waited for you through PMR and SPM.. I wish I never had to stop loving you..

5 years together.. I only learned how to love but now i've to learn to forget? It's a tough journey ahead.. this time i have to venture on this journey alone.. Its gona be a hundred times harder than any other challenges we've faced coz i havent got you by my side this time.. I feel so lonely and lost right now.. I cant stop my tears from flowing.. If only i had loved you a little more.. If only I was a little stronger.. If only i was superman..

Life is tough.. and just as my friend always say to me "just suck it up".. i guess I've gotta somehow find the strength in me to carry on.. resists all thoughts of wanting to give up in life.. I dont even know why I'm crying so much when it wont change a thing now..

Its a new start for you! Appreciate every moment of it.. make sure you live with no regrets! Make sure you make it worth it! I'll be secretly cheering you on! Study hard and achieve your goals! I'm sure you'll do great and become a great doctor someday! A doctor with a servants heart living each day to serve the people putting the needs of others ahead of yourself because thats who you are!

Honestly I dont know if i'll be strong enough to face you for the next few days, months or years.. Its going to be hard to treat you as a friend when i still love you so much! I'd probably beg you to give me another chance to come back with me every time we chat! So.. I have to make sure Everything i need to say to you is here!

Fern.. Thanks for being the best girlfriend of mine for the past 5 years.. I'm sorry for the times i hurt you and sorry for bringing us to where we are today.. I'll always remember the good times we had together! movies.. arcade.. food hunting.. jogging.. even waiting for you seems like a nice thing to do now.. I'm sorry for breaking so many promises.. I WISH SO BAD That you could be my wife.. thats one promise that i broke which i probably will regret for a long long time.. Remember how we talk about how we wanted our wedding.. whether it was at the beach.. or a simple wedding like at a garden sorta.. Remember those nights where we just talked till you fell asleep on the phone? Those were good times I'll never forget! Thanks for just being my friend.. understanding me.. being there for me.. you were like my life support system.. keeping me alive.. giving me a reason to live! Thanks for having loved me so deeply and loyally these 5 years! I hope you feel the same way about me.. I'm not perfect.. I learn from my mistakes.. just maybe at a slower rate than me making mistakes...

Alright.. It's time to let the bird free! if it comes back.. will definitely hold it tight and never let it go again.. If it flies freely in the sky and never returns.. find joy in seeing it soar through the air.. Till the day my Love for you fades.. I Love you with all my heart! and will be waiting for a miracle to happen..

Take care now, explore the world! but be safe.. God bless!

And you ask whats the meaning of Love? its now your journey to seek your true love.. and when you find it.. never let go of it! Times may get tough.. but true love is hard to find so cherish it if you find it! Wishing you all the best once again! when 5 years has been all about you.. its hard to really end at any point.. but! I'll be a man and suck it up.. we all pay for mistakes we make..

You may lose faith in me, but never lose faith in God!

With All my Love,
Tai Yue Chuen

Insomnia??

Can't sleep.

Constantly refreshing my Facebook for any new friend requests.

How do i add new friends?

Maybe i should play with my nails till i doze off.

REALLY GOOD NIGHT!@

Tai Taiko xoxo

ps

isnt justin beiber, like, the hottest? like totally my idol. i wish i could sing like him.

okay, sweet dreams, honey buns! much love to you guys, your undying support has never failed to amaze me.

xx

tai taiko

night, yo

aight, i need my beauty sleep. yeah, even a beast bro like me needs a lil r&r every now and then. man, i totally need to get my mani-pedi on the phone. nails are such a botch job. like, omg. how do you guys stand touching stuff? its so like, dirrrty.

anyways, leave me a comment as to what colour nail polish i should get! (btw, rainbows are totally last season, and dont even bother with pink. way too ott.)

muaxx,

tai taiko.

For The Clueless

my workout in the previous post was really for my Manly Parts.

this:

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to

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was the actual 1:2 scaled length. I would really like to satisfy Fern in the future. *Fingers Crossed*

Comments below! How do YOU guys Workout your manly parts!?

happy birthday revisited

i just realised i wished myself a happy birthday. im such a loser.